History of My Car's Accidents

Here is a brief history of my cars accidents. I might say before we got this car I never had an accident. That's why I say, it's the car.

First accident I backed into the church doors. I tried to straighten the car out, but that didn't work so I backed up and hit the doors again. My husband just stood there watching, when I got done and had finally got the car going, a kid standing by my husband said "I could have done better than that."

Second accident I was on I-94 headed for the Taste of Chicago. I was going about 60 mph when a thud came from the back of the car. I thought it was a tire blew or something like that. Then my daughter said, Mom I think that truck hit us. And that is what happened. There was so much traffic we couldn't even stop or get next to the edge of the road and the truck just kept driving. He hit us pretty hard, but fortunately I was able to maintain control of the car.

Third accident I was at a May Kay meeting. I came out and backed up and heard this crunching sound. I stopped. I never saw the car. It was a Directors car. Yes, I back into a pink Cadillac. These three accidents happend very close to each other. My body shop man said it was a secret between him and me. His lips were sealed.

Forth accident I went down town to a Karl Rove Book signing. Why he had it downtown I will never know. I knew I was in trouble when there were protester's outside the building. This prevented me from finding the garage to the building. I decided to find city parking. A few blocks away I saw a door, I drove up and honked like they told me to. I went inside and the garage went immediately down and the road curved. I tried to find a spot. It did  look close. Did I mention there were a lot of pillars . Yes, I hit the pillar. An attendant came and was yelling for me to stop. Did I hear him no. I tried to pull the car out of the spot and yes, hit another pillar. Now two or three attendants were yelling at me. They begged me to get out of the car and let them drive. I conceded. I still have the Karl Rove markings on my car. I show them to people, that is from when I went to see Karl Rove.

Fifth accident I hit a car from behind. I came down a hill. Two cars at a stop light and it turned green for some reason the first car stopped. Second car stopped. But I did not see they had stopped. People ask me why did he stop when the light was green? We will never know because he drove away. This happened in February. This was my worst accident. I just got my car back about a month ago.

And now last night a man hit me in a church parking lot. You can see the car has a history of accidents. When I call my agent, the secretary just says. it's Marna again. They know me well.